Looking for the Light on Aurora
“It’s crazy how many people oppose simply helping others.”
James is a college graduate based out of Portland, Oregon. He grew up around Seattle and from the start of his freshman year to the middle of his junior year of high school, he experienced an extended period of homelessness. Having grown up seeing two sides of one coin, he has intimate knowledge of the homeless crisis in Seattle, either through first-hand experience or research. This is his story.
Lorcan: So Jamie, how was your childhood?
Jamie: It was good. I grew up in Magnolia for the first 11 years of my life. I would say it was very normal. My family was pretty well off with my dad working as a lawyer and my mom as an audiologist. I went to private catholic schools. It was textbook childhood.
When did things start falling apart?
I was led to believe we were well off because I was in private school and we were living in one of the wealthiest neighborhoods in Seattle. In reality, that wasn’t really the case. My dad had acquired a lot of debt and at the same time, he lost his job as a lawyer. My mom had stopped working because she thought we were making enough money from my father. So from 11 to 15, my dad wasn’t working and didn’t tell anyone. Anyway, we began moving around different rental houses in Magnolia because we lost our actual house in 2008. When I was 15, we were staying at one of these houses when a cop showed up and we just got evicted. So, in my eyes, I went from being this rich white kid to being practically homeless in like a day. As a kid, I had no idea what happened. I learned all the behind-the-scenes problems later.
Why did your father stop looking for work?
He was taking out a lot of crappy loans and stuff like that. He wasn’t gambling or anything but he’s a textbook alcoholic. I’m pretty sure for those four years, he was just going out to bars and grabbing a beer.
And your mom had no idea?
Yeah, she had no clue. She only found out from her sister who heard it through the grapevine.
When you guys first started living in rental houses, did you realize the severity of your situation or view it as a setback?
It was more of a setback. I think ‘08 hit everyone hard, especially middle-class families like us. I thought moving into rental houses, even at that young age, was all just part of the recession. I don’t know how I knew what that stuff was then but I just did.
You were how old during this?
I was around 9 and we were moving around till I was 11. My parents just kept giving us reasons like, “Oh, it’s really hard to afford a house right now.” I didn’t think anything of it, especially at 10 and 11 years old. But I did recognize it was a little odd when we started moving every year or two. I became aware that everything wasn’t just normal.
Going back to the cops showing up and evicting you guys, where did you guys go after?
So, you can’t just get evicted in like a day. They have to give notice. We were getting eviction letters but with my dad being prideful, he would be hiding them. Eventually, it got to the point where they came and said we had till noon to leave. I remember waking up at like 7 A.M. on a Saturday and being told we had five hours. My dad had already gotten a U-Haul ready because if stuff is left in the house past the deadline, it belongs to the owner. After that, my brother went to go live with his friends and my sister went to go live with her friends. This was in August right before I started high school so, at the time, my sister was going to college in like a week so she left for Spokane. I went with my parents and we just slept in our car.
How long did the car situation go on?
It fluctuated. We would either be living in the car or if they could afford it, the Days Inn up in Shoreline. Overall, there was a lot of disconnect. I wasn’t being picked up from school so I would be hanging around after the bell rang, go to Greenlake to mess around, or go to the community center nearby to take a shower. What would end up happening a lot would be if I didn’t have change for the bus, I would walk up Aurora Avenue to get to the motel. But the problem was I wouldn’t make it sometimes till like 5 A.M. and then I would have to turn around again because the school would be starting. When I did make it, sometimes my parents would be in the car or they would have gotten a room and I would go in and sleep for a bit.
What was your family dynamic at this point?
Oh, it completely broke down. It’s probably the biggest point to why we aren’t much of a family anymore. My mom eventually got to the point where she told my dad “you need to leave.” So he moved down to Oregon to live with extended family while at the same time, my mom eventually was able to get an apartment in Mukilteo.
Aurora Avenue isn’t a good environment for a kid. What was growing up around there like?
Honestly, I don’t know if it was that I looked unintimidating or like a lost little kid but no one messed around with me. I would see a lot of arguing and drunk women outside bars but overall everyone was actually really nice to me. I think a part of that was because I looked like an orphan wandering the streets but I also think it was because I looked “clean”. It’s a weird thing to say but I had a lot of clean clothes for high school which sort of separated me from “them”.
“There is a true sense of hopelessness.”
Speaking of school and since you attended a private Catholic school, did that impact your self-esteem in a negative way?
Oh, extremely. I remember seeing kids on their 16th birthdays getting $38,000 jeeps that their parents probably paid for in cash. I never really showed this insecurity and in high school, I had a demeanor that would be described as peppy and self-confident. That whole attitude in itself was somewhat of an act.
Being a student in school and with your family situation, did you guys ever try to contact low-income housing?
My mom ended up looking at low-income housing and we were put on a waitlist. Going back to our eviction, that just ruins trying to ever rent a house again. No one is going to want to rent out to you so that whole situation is fucked. Later, we lucked out on a housing situation because my mom’s family friend had a friend who was a landowner. But as far as low-income housing goes, we were on a waitlist for a year and from my understanding, you're just one of tens of thousand people waiting around for like twenty homes tops.
Based on this interaction, do you hold low-income housing or its functions in a negative light?
I don’t know about that but I have thought about housing issues and what needs to be done to solve homelessness. For starters, we have a housing crisis going on. We got people thirty years old with good jobs who can’t afford a house here. A large problem is zoning. We have to get rid of single-family zoning. I don’t know the numbers but the amount of Seattle land you can only build one house on is really high. We can’t tear down some houses to build apartments because it’s zoned for a single-family. That makes it literally impossible to build more places because we have built everywhere. There’s nowhere else to expand too. Secondly, we need people in Seattle to understand that while low-income families or individuals might be down and out, they could still be your neighbor. We have a problem in Seattle with people saying, “not in my backyard.” They’ll advocate for housing but not want it near them. Magnolia is the worst for that. Every couple of years, the neighborhood will have a referendum to put low-income housing in Discovery park. Everyone freaks out and goes on about these low-income people ruining the community. If not “here”, then where? If no one is willing to lend extra space, the problem is never going to get solved.
But what about the camps in Georgetown, Lake Union, or Capitol Hill where these people have a bad reputation and are clearly engaging in drug use and petty theft? Do you think it’s fair that people don’t want them nearby?
I don’t think it’s fair. When you see a built-up tent city, they aren’t actively getting resources or entering programs. It’s just a bunch of people who are struggling to survive thrown into a park. Obviously, crime and drugs happen. What we need to do as a society is invest in low-income housing that’s sustainable and around things. The low-income housing in Seattle is in shitty areas, such as right near the I-5. They set up here so people don’t have to see that there are people living in these conditions because a lot of people just don’t want to see it. If we invested more in low-income housing and social problems, we could turn the likes of Magnolia into a diverse well-run community with great social programs. Instead, it’s just a white-collar neighborhood that’s unattainable for the majority of people. And going back to the idea of Magnolia setting up low-income housing in the neighborhood, it would ‘t work unless sustainable programs and resources nearby were implemented as well. Putting low-income people in a neighborhood with those shopping prices means they already can’t afford to buy anything. I guess I think there should be more of a focus on building up a community rather than just housing in a certain neighborhood.
Do you think your vision could ever become a reality?
It’s wishful thinking. As long as the zoning laws stay the way they are, it can’t. Also, the stigma towards homeless people would have to change. Literally, everyone has a stigma against homeless people. I was homeless for two and half years and it was one of the most embarrassing things of my life. With that being said, I’ll see a homeless person sometimes and think to myself, “this person is a bum.” Everyone does that self consciously and it’s just sad. But between this and the red tape, we would have to jump over, it won’t work. It’s crazy how many people oppose simply helping others.
Anything else you want to say?
What I have noticed with homeless people is that there is a true sense of hopelessness. From their perspective, next week, next month, next year, or the next two years just don’t matter. I felt that immensely all the time. I didn’t really have aspirations because I didn’t think they matter. I was so focused on the stress of the moment that even the idea of college just wasn’t there. All that I focused on was going to school, taking a shower, catching a bus, etc…. It was a monotonous cycle of hopelessness. When you see that, it’s hard to convince a lot of these people about potential solutions. But I like the whole idea of “if you build it, they will come.” I think that really means something, especially to this problem.